xx
I want to try my best to make you stay
I want to make sure that our hearts never stray
I'm head over heels for you
If this is love, I don't want it to ever end.
I might just be high on hormones
Or mad being all alone
No one has ever made me feel this way
The way that you do
So emotional, so hysterical
All because of you
 

I forgot how nice it is to be up early 
mindlessly staring out the window

enjoying that moment of peace

chilly wind and gentle light 
feels good to be up and alive

 話したい、もっと君のことを知りたい。
それだけではない、
良い論文も書きたい。
（関係ないけどｗｗｗ）
疲れても頑張りたい、
もっと良くなりたい。
 

好きな人と一緒に花火を見るって幸せですね。
 

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

It is also the first day of university...

 

I don't know what to feel right now. I'll be flying off the day after tomorrow and the feeling has yet to sink in completely. I saw my grandparents today and my grandma wished me well and started crying. It was so sudden, I was taken aback. I, of course started crying as well. I couldn't hold back my tears, I am terribly bad with goodbyes. But this isn't goodbye, I'll definitely come back so there is really no reason to cry at all but I just can't help myself. After that episode, it was my grandpa's turn. I have always been weak when it comes to him, just thinking about parting and all with him was already making me tear up. I hugged him and he wished me well, I started bawling my eyes out. I'm definitely closer to him. He's my closest grandparent. I can't ;_; I know I will be back but still..
I just love both of them ok :'(
 

イトヲカシライブ三回目
レッツゴー！

Today was interesting and a whole load of fun. I was actually contemplating if should go for the final live because I was so exhausted after the two days. But I felt like I would really regret if I didn't get to go to this live so I just pushed myself and went anyway. And boy was I right. I would totally have regretted it my whole life if I didn't went to this live. I was so much closer to them and they were so near I couldn't breatheeeee. There were a decent amount of people already there waiting for them preparing. 

They first did a sound check but this sound check was different because some people were asking if they could request songs and itowokashi agreed (such kind people) hahaha they did a few songs before getting into the real live. They sang the songs on their album as usual and they ended off with START. I really love START since it really pumps me up so I was really elated when I found out hahahaha. I sang my heart out. But when they finished the song, the itowokashi fan club members or some sort decided to sing start and asked everyone to join in. It was awkward at first since no one was leading and some people don't really remember the song lyrics but in the end we all harmonized and sang a phrase of START. We really love them ok ahahahha. Afterwards we queued to get autographs. It was sad that I could only get one item signed because I wanted him to sign on his album and also my phone. But I decided to go with phone since I wanted to look at his signature whenever and wherever. This live was really great and I love how close they can be with fans. It was fun and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Side note
I was supposed to go to the live with Jianping but she canceled on me last minute so I had to go alone. After I got out of the train I was so confused and lost ahahah. But soon after, I found someone else that looked like she was also going for itowokashi live! And we decided to look for the way there together and went there together hahaha. We started talking and I found out that we were actually from the same school, of same age and from the same course!! I cannot believe how coincidental this is. We were in the same course for 3 years and we found each other only now??? Hahha we were in different classes though. We both love anime so much and everything anime/manga related and talked a whole bunch to and fro. And we even found out that we live near each other. I don't know how to explain how surreal I feel about this ahahhaa but it was amazing. I'm so glad to have went to the live because besides having such a great time, I finally met someone that's as crazy about anime as I am.

 

イとヲカシライブ二回目！！
今日も本当に楽しかった！
お会いできて私は本当に幸せです。


Today's live was even better than yesterday's live. 伊東歌詞太郎さん's voice was better today, I really felt his emotions when he sang and it struck through me. Beautiful as always. The way he puts his heart and soul into singing and his passion is really admirable. He did it again he really looks at his fans and the audience when he sings. It felt as if he wanted to relay his feelings no matter what.
I was really touched.


After the live was the autograph session. I was so afraid that I might be cut from the queue since I expected a long line. But I was lucky enough to be in the earlier group to get autographs from them. I was so nervous walking up on stage but I managed to say 「来てくれて本当にありがとうございました！」and he answered me saying that it's because of us that they were able to perform here. It was saddening due to time constraint that we only could let them autograph one album, it was totally understandable. But I just want to say that I bought all 3 of my albums and one of them being 伊東歌詞太郎さん's solo album. Hahaha but I managed to show it to him, telling him that I bought his album! He thanked me after that hahaha. He's such a kind person. I didn't know that we get to shake their hand and we did. I am so happy omg. I can't explain how ecstatic I was. His hand was slender but big and he gave me a firm hand shake. (sry if I sound like a pervert now haha) But I was so lucky to be able to converse with him (even if it was just a few words) and be able to shake his hand.
This is a meeting that I will remember for life.

 

イトヲカシのライブ行きましたよ！
本当に盛り上がった！



Hehe today's live was fun!
Even though I was a bit awkward being alone in midst of everybody but after he came on stage and started singing, everything melted. I was glad to be able to mouth words from their songs and follow along. I had more fun than I expected! I wanted to skip today actually since I wasn't feeling too well but I'm really glad I pushed myself to go. It was just as great as the last time I saw him at AFA'13.
His voice was beautiful, 癒されるわ～♡


But one thing happened and that really really made me unbelievably happy. It was when he was singing the last song (さよならのかわりに). That song was my favourite because that was the very first song that made me fall in love with his voice. I was mouthing the lyrics and singing along and he noticed me (ok I'm not trying to be conceited here) but I really felt like our eyes met because he realized that I or the two girls behind me were singing along and he started to look at us and sing for a full phrase ok. It felt like eternity, it felt great. I thought I was probably too out of my head but after he turned away, the two girls behind me must have thought the same because they were giggling and talking about it hahaha.

So it was real.
I am so happy, the happiest person alive in that short frame of time. 
 
 

I'm so excited!

I'll get to see 伊東歌詞太郎さん performing at anime matsuri tomorrow!
Just thinking about it is keeping up hahaha, I'll try to fall asleep listening to his songs.


Tomorrow is going to be such a busy day. 
I'll have to rush to get my best friend's (Zahirah) present, rush to anime matsuri, listen to his beautiful voice before rushing again to Zahirah's 21st birthday party. Sometimes I do wish that I had someone who is as passionate about anime as I am and share many of such interests with me because it can feel quite lonely sometimes, hyping in front of people that don't really get it. I'm not complaining of anything, it's just that I'm lonely ok hahaha. Alright, no matter what I'm still glad that my friends are able to put up with me going crazy and becoming another person when it comes to anime. I'm truly grateful to have them by my side.


 I hope I'll be able to make it on time tomorrow though! But my timing is always so off, I'll try my best to keep up! I'm probably going to stay for a short while before I scoot because I'm really bad at parties. I don't know if I'm an introvert or what because I sure don't look like one or I'm hardly being told that I am one. But I don't really like crowded places or in other words, I'm bad at crowded places. I always feel so out of place and awkward I just wanna go home and be with my computer and have quiet time to myself.

昨日紀伊國屋書店に行きました。

最初はひるなかの流星だけを買いに行こうと思ったけど...
行ったらアオハライドを見つけて、買いたくなってきました。
長い時間迷っていました結果は...

両方とも買っちゃいました！
全部読むのが楽しみ！

 

 

たまには
寂しくなる
たまには
悲しくなる
たまには
自分が何をしたいかわからなくなる
たまには
いき苦しくなる
たまには


たまには
このままでいいと思ってる

 

I'm currently in a running rut. I'm not sure if that is actually true though. But my runs have been awfully inconsistent. Even though I have been running on alternate days. This still feels weird because I have been consistent. I don't know what has gotten into me. But I had a great run yesterday and it really knocked me out good, I kept napping through out the day I was so weary. I like this feeling though, it makes me feel like I've worked hard enough.  I need to work harder though! I need to lose weight before I fly! 

 > 
 
In other news, I'm getting more and more anxious as the days pass since I'll be leaving for university in less than a month's time. I'm so worried and it's time to start packing and start going through that checklist of things to buy. So many things to do and buy since I'll be there for 3 years. What will become of meeeeeeeeee. 


 

 
I didn't do much today.
Yup.

Oh.
And my stomach's uncomfortable from dinner.

 

I finally graduated!



I’m so grateful to be able to graduate with my close friends, so grateful to be able to graduate in general. I can’t believe I made it !





We fought together, worked on projects into the wee hours of the morning together and studied for papers together. It has been a tough 3 years but we made it. This marks an end to a phase in my life and also the beginning of a new one. I’ll be going to university coming July, and I’m so nervous I don’t know what to do with myself image. It’s definitely something new since I’ll be going to New Zealand to embark on this new phase of life lol. I need to be independent and believe in myself that I’ll be able to manage somehow! I can doooo it! Hahaha.Until next time!
バイバイ！